How Blogging Can Help You Lose Weight

Here are a few tips for bloggers who want to lose a bit of weight. Contrarily to what you may think, sitting at your computer desk for hours can help you lose weight. I am happy with my own weight so I have not tried them, but if I needed to lose a few pounds, I would certainly not use the following tips:
While your little pudgy fingers get tapping on that keyboard, they will spend less time reaching for the cookies.

While sitting at your computer desk, you can exercise your fingers, wrists and ankles.

When you are afraid to lose your train of thought, you are more likely to skip a meal or two.

When you run out of inspiration, instead of daydreaming you can read a few weight-loss articles;

You can use one of those silly-looking hats, you know the ones, like Homer Simpson when he goes to a baseball game, with long straws attached to it; fill the glasses with water and get hydrated while you blog. You cannot do this with food; it would only get stuck in the straws. If you really want to ace those hospitality jobs,  or work in hotels and airlines like what you always dreamed of, then better get going! You won’t have time to go shopping, so you will run out of food and be unable to eat. Tip: this would be a good time to clean out your fridge if you find the time, maybe during a bout of sleepwalking, because all the food you forgot to eat now smells a bit funny!

You will be so busy blogging that you won’t have time to answer the door, phone or your emails so none of your friends calling for coffee will realize that you have run out of coffee and biscuits.

Other benefits of blogging include saving money, as you will be too busy blogging to have any time to go shopping; also, blogging is good for the environment because you will not drive your car anymore or use paper, since your blogging will be done online, and you will not catch any contagious illnesses, since you will have cut all contact with people in the flesh, all your socializing will be done online through forums and social bookmarking websites.

Do not try these tips if you have children and/or pets and if you are the only adult living in your household and, as for every weight-loss programme, consult a doctor before trying any of the above tips (especially if you intend to replace the water with vodka in the Homer Simpson hat).

Maybe I should have called this article how blogging can help you slowly die, but in any case, whether or not you are trying to lose some weight, shortly after starting a blog, be sure to consult a psychiatrist in order to check on your sanity: I will have you know that this article was written in my psychiatrist’s waiting room; I wonder whether it was such a good idea to stop taking my medication!

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